“Have you seen We Bought A Zoo?” I asked, giving it a test if my best friend in elementary still has the same taste in movies as mine.
“If you love me, let me know,” Maya said dramatically. And we giggled like teenagers after that.
“That is the biggest bullshit. I mean, it’s not for everyone —not for people like you,” she gave me a sympathetic smile.
I was puzzled. “People like me?”
She smirked. “All those boys who confessed to you. You laughed at their faces and returned their gifts. You don’t love anyone.”
I was even more puzzled. “I don’t remember being that heartless. I was never even that popular.”
“What’s this? Selective amnesia?
“I don’t like this topic,” I said, getting uneasy at where the conversation is heading.
She just shrugged. “I’m not going to push but you don’t love this guy.”
I sighed, finally understanding her point. I told her about Lukas earlier that day. “He makes me happy,” I humbly said.
“For now. But he’ll get tired soon if you cannot reciprocate his feelings. Unrequited love is just an illusion. Stop being selfish,” she impatiently said.
I thought it over. We smoked quietly and then I finally spoke. “You know what,” I said, way too calmly, “that’s probably what I wanted all along. I want him to get tired of me. I want him to realize for himself that he’s just wasting time. That I will never change. That he’s better off with someone as good as he is. That’s probably that.”
And Maya was just as calm, even humorous when she said, “I believe you. But just this once, can you be less evil?”
I laughed, but it was a sad laugh. “I’m trying,” I said in between the smoke coming from our cigarettes.